1.0 No Facebook. No Twitter. No Reddit

I will not go on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit FROM 12:00am on 01/07/2013 until 1am on 01/14/2013.

Long Term Goals: Pare my social networking down to a reasonable amount, and remember what it's like to not find out what everyone is doing or thinking every minute of every day.

Exceptions: Twitter for work, but a minimum.   LinkedIn, because it's no fun and I need to go there for work. I'd add Google+ here, but come on.  

WHY?

Because I'm on there too god damn much, wiling away hours and hours and scrolling through on my phone until I get to the last post I looked at 20 minutes ago.  It's a total time suck, and my efforts to curtail them work for about a day or 2, and then I'm navel-gazing again at everyone's kids and pets and meals and opinions on Obama/Guns.

Let's take them one at a time:

Facebook:  No original idea here.  Facebook is funny.  I came to the party later to a lot of people, and was dragged there kicking and screaming.  Now, it's a central communication hub for me.  For many people, I couldn't get in touch with them without Facebook.  I've rekindled friendships on there, and I curse the 3 friends I have that don't have Facebook accounts because I need to call them and be like HAY DID YOU HEAR HERP AND DERP McDERPSON HAD QUINTUPLETS OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO COOL FOR FACEBOOK WHEN DID I BECOME YOUR RUMOR BITCH

This said, it's a total fuxing time suck.  I waste more hours :

SECRET ALLEY MURDERER

• looking at everyone's stupid kids/pets/meals/vacation photos (note, not YOUR kids/pets/meals/vacation photos.  I love YOUR kids/pets/meals/vacation photos)
• looking to see if anyone commented on the pictures of my stupid kid/pet/meal/vacation photos/pithy comment/obscure reference
• wondering why you'd post that?  I mean, people can READ THIS.  INTERNET PEOPLE.  THAT YOU KNOW.  THAT YOU MAY WORK WITH.  
• wondering what the hell your post means.  don't be VAGUE and tell me "what goes around comes around".  Tell me how the guy from Accounts Payable/the airport/the cockfight ring wronged you.  Tell me who you want to be dragged naked through a filthy alley by a gang of long-haired daschunds.  I know a guy.  I can help.  NETWORKING AT WORK.    
• looking at my past posts and thinking "Jesus.  Don't I think I'm just the wittiest guy ever because I posted a Hold Steady lyric as my status".  /punches self in gullet

Facebook is super.  But much like Miller High Life, it's to be enjoyed in moderation, and only after a hard day or week.  Not at work or in bed.  Or in a meeting.

If any of you connected crazygonuts
to this guy, we are hugging in my mind

Twitter:  I don't tweet a ton, but I read tweets like CRAZYGONUTS.  Twitter has become more of a go to for me since the election, because GOD DAMN people are hilarious dickheads on twitter about real issues.  

CLASSIC

My rationale here is that Twitter's snarkiness is making me snarkier than I need to be.  These people are dicks.  Hilarious, yes.  But I can catch up later.

Reddit: This one won't be too bad, because I can go other places to see pictures of grumpy cats.  

Again, another place I don't accomplish anything, short of going HEH.  or HUH.  or OH GOD WHY.  

--

The common thread here is PISSING AWAY TIME.  I have a pile of awesome, well recommended books and excellent magazines that I paid good money for, as well as family and friends that I can be interacting with.  (please don't read into why the reading material came first in this sentence).

I HATE to use wisdom from something that could be on needlepoint on a pillow, but no one ever laid on the deathbed and said "Gosh Mavis, my only regret is that I spent more time on Facebook or reading dick jokes on twitter or looking at FAIL pictures on Reddit"